yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
