i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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