i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
