i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
