make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
