I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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