is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
