well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
