it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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