dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
