Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
