Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
