Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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