omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
