so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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