Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
