is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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