i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
