shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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