The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
