dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
