Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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