Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
