I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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