My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
