Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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