Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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