As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Randomize
