He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
