Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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