my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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