so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
