she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
