Moan for me like Helen Keller
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
