you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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