That's intense
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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