he shaved USA in his pubs
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
