If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
