Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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