I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
