He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
