Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
