thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
