He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
