I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
