Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
