when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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