Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There's always time for handjobs
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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