I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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