Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
