just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
