I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
