Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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