then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
