put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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